Friday, May 12, 2006

Kinky Rocks!

Kinky turns in signatures to get on Texas ballot - Yahoo! News:
AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) - Musician and mystery writer Kinky Friedman, brandishing his trademark cigar and spouting one-liners, turned in petitions with nearly 170,000 signatures on Thursday in his bid to run for governor of Texas as an independent candidate.

The 169,574 signatures were more than 3 1/2 times the number needed to get Friedman's name on the ballot in November but they still must be verified, state officials said.
Hooray for Kinky! I hope he runs for president someday real soon!
"Thank God for bars and dance halls," he said. "Every signature counts whether it came from a country club or homeless shelter."

Friedman is conducting an irreverent campaign that includes a lot of humorous one-liners but also appears to be a serious run for the office once held by President George W. Bush.

His positions on controversial issues cross philosophical lines to include support for school prayer but also support for gay marriage.

"Why shouldn't they be as miserable as the rest of us?" he jokes about the gay marriage issue.

Friedman's supporters waved signs on Thursday that said such things as "Down with the Status Quo" and "My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy."

1 comment:

Kinky is Awesome said...

Kinky would be a GREAT Texas governor.

Kinky "Gets It" About Political Correctness

Kinky is a genius. With all the politicians in Texas acting like officers in the political correctness police, Kinky promisses to "de-wussify Texas."

According to a recent story in the Austin American Statesman, Kinky is smart enough to realize "the more people I offend, the more people will like me."

Here are some other gems from that story:

"I'm a compassionate redneck...

In a November CNBC interview, for instance, he was pressed on a line in his 1987 novel, "A Case of Lone Star," comparing New York to "a Negro talking to himself." Friedman said he saw nothing wrong and even said of sexual predators: "Throw them in prison and throw away the key and make them listen to a Negro talking to himself." Video excerpts appeared online on the Burnt Orange Report, a pro-Democrat blog.


Kinky "Gets It" About Foreign Policy

Kinky spoke with Ruminator Magazine about his thoughts on Bush's foreign policy:

Ruminator: So does this idea of the honorable cowboy have anything to do with why you threw your support behind President Bush in this last election? You did, didn’t you?

Kinky: Yes. I did in this last election, but I didn’t vote for him the first time....I was not for Bush that time. Since then, though, we’ve become friends. And that’s what’s changed things.

Ruminator: So it’s your friendship with him that’s changed your mind about having him as president more than his specific political positions?

Kinky: Well, actually, I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy....I basically think he played a poor hand well after September 11. What he’s been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think.



Kinky "Gets It" About Illegal Mexican Aliens

I just saw a story in the Texarkana Gazette that showed me Kinky Friedman gets it. Here's what Texas governor candidate Kinky said about the illegal Mexican alien problem:

"Mexico is not a poor country...all of these politicians are afraid of offending Hispanics. I want the border off the evening news until we get something resolved."

Kinky's been saying that Mexico ain't poor for better than a year now. Here's a another story out of the Kilgore News Herald, where Kinky says "Mexico is not a poor country."

Here's some other interesting stuff out of that story:

"He proposes auctioning Texas sports funding to the highest bidder -- Nike or Coca Cola or Adidas or some other corporation that would like the opportunity to “get their hooks into the athletes while they’re still young.”

...

“I am going to see non-denominational prayer and the Ten Commandments put back in the schools.”

Friedman said the Ten Commandments might have to be called the ten rules or something similar but they need to be back in the schools. “They say this is part of my wussification campaign but, as my spiritual advisor Billy Jo Schafer says, “If you don’t love Jesus, go to hell.”

One of Friedman’s most unusual ideas addresses border security.

He proposes creating what he calls the Five Mexican Generals plan. As he lays it out, the border with Mexico would be divided into five pieces with a Mexican general responsible for each. A $1 million trust fund would be created for each general.

“When I talk about the five Mexican generals, people think I’m joking but I’m dead serious,” said Friedman. “I will divide the border into five jurisdictions, assigning one Mexican general to each and providing a trust fund for that general. Every time a person crosses illegally, we subtract $5,000 from the trust fund.”

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